Commentary by Hank F. Miller Jr. 

 

Gaijin Hell is where foreigners who brazenly violate the codes of Japanese society go. 

 In Christian-predominant Western society, even if you don\’t grow up in a religious household, you have likely grown up hearing the common threat \”You\’re going to hell if you do that!\” 

For example, if you try a trick on your neighbor, your mother might say, \”You\’ll go to hell for that!\”  

When I was growing up in Gloucester City, N.J. You could go to hell for almost anything, including using swear words or reading a dirty magazine. This comes from the belief that after you die; you either go to heaven or hell. Sinning will send you straight to hell. 

When Westerners come to Japan, we find things are different, perhaps even liberating.  

We no longer have to worry about the threat of going to hell because in Japan, it is not considered a sin to drink too much, read a porno magazine or take someone to a love hotel. But Westerners be warned! In Japan, there is still a large threat of going to hell: 

\”Gaijin hell.\”  

Gaijin Hell is where foreigners who brazenly violate the codes of Japanese society go.  

You know who I\’m talking about. Yes, I may even be talking about you, if you were here! 

How do you know if you\’re headed straight for Gaijin Hell or not? 

Take this quiz.  

1. You\’re getting ready to leave the house for the office in the morning. You\’ve just laced your shoes and you\’re headed out the door when suddenly you realize you forgot your keys. 

You:

A. Take off your shoes and walk inside to retrieve the keys from the table. 

B. Leave your shoes on figuring that just this once it won\’t matter if you enter the house with your shoes on. After all, you can see the keys sitting on the table just two steps away, 

Not only that, but you\’re in a hurry and have to catch the train. 

 

C. You leave your shoes on and craw over to the table on your hands and knees, careful to not let your shoes touch the floor. 

If you choose B, you\’re going to Gaijin Hell. Absolutely never ever, under any circumstances, better or worse, for richer or poorer, wear your shoes inside the house. 

 

2. You\’re in the bank becoming increasingly frustrated with the antiquated banking system in Japan. First, you\’ve had to come to the bank in person to verify an incoming foreign bank transfer into your account, Second, you\’ve been told you can\’t have your salary automatically deposited into an account where you can withdraw those funds from abroad. And to top it all off, you forgot to bring your inkan or name chop with you for verification of who you say you are. 

You: 

A. Maintain decorum at all times no matter how frustrated you get. 

 

B. Storm out of the bank, grumbling, wallowing in self-pity and licking your wounds as you leave. 

 

C. Give the teller a piece of your mind and tell her how ridiculous the bank is being, how much easier and more efficient it is in your country, and finish it off with a lecture on how Japan is never going to make it in the international banking world unless it changes its antiquated ways. 

 

3. A Japanese friend stops by your house. As per Japanese custom, you put on some coffee and serve something to eat. Luckily, you have two pieces of chocolate cake in the refrigerator. 

Standing there looking into the refrigerator, you realize one of the pieces is larger than the other.  

You:

A. Give the bigger piece to the guest. 

 

B. Ask the guest to choose which piece he wants, with the hope that he will be polite and take the smaller piece, leaving the bigger piece for you. 

 

C. Cut the larger piece down to the same size as the smaller piece and stuff the cut off bit into your mouth while he is not looking. 

 

D. Serve the smaller piece to the guest and leave the bigger piece in the refrigerator for later, so he\’ll never know you took the larger piece. 

If you choose A, you\’re hell-bent on going to Gaijin Hell. But don\’t worry. Once you get to Gaijin Hell you\’ll find most of your gaijin friends there because there\’s a little bit of the devil in all of us. 

 

Warm Regards from Kitakyushu City, Japan 

 

Hank F. Miller Jr. 

 

American Forces Press Service WASHINGTON, May 11, 2008 – Several militants were killed and eight were detained during two separate coalition operations to disrupt militant operations in Khowst and Helmand provinces yesterday. Afghan and coalition forces performed a search of several compounds in Sabari district, in Khowst province, targeting a militant cell conducting IED operations. The targeted individuals are known to have been involved in the Jan. 1 IED attack in Danda Fakiran, in Sabari district, which killed two civilians and the December 2007 kidnapping and murder of another civilian. During the course of the operation, several armed militants were killed when they attacked the joint force. Afghan and coalition forces detained eight individuals, including the head of the targeted cell. In addition, several AK-47s, a shotgun, magazines, ammunition vests, and a grenade were discovered on the compounds and removed or destroyed to prevent their future use. In a separate operation, coalition forces conducted a search of compounds in Garmsir district, in Helmand province. The target of the operation was a Taliban insurgent associated with procuring and smuggling various machine guns and assault rifles. During their search, militants threatened coalition forces who responded with small-arms fire, killing several. In earlier operations, several militants were killed and nine were detained May 9 during a coalition operation against militants in Nangarhar province. Coalition forces searched compounds in the Shinwar district, targeting a foreign-fighter network. Militants in the same area recently had engaged coalition forces. During the operation, several militants were killed when they attacked coalition forces. Nine militants suspected of facilitating foreign fighters were detained. In addition, coalition forces discovered several AK-47 rifles, a bolt-action rifle, ammunition, and grenades on the compounds. These items were destroyed. Elsewhere May 9, Afghan and coalition forces detained two militants in an operation to degrade their activities in Khowst province. Afghan and coalition forces searched compounds in Nadar Shahkot district targeting a militant network facilitating the use of improvised explosive devices. (Compiled from Combined Joint Task Force 101 news releases.)

Related Sites: Combined Joint Task Force 101 NATO International Security Assistance Force

Media release By Marine Lance Cpl. Ryan Wicks Special to American Forces Press Service ABOARD USS ESSEX, At Sea , May 11, 2008 – Marines and Sailors with the Essex Amphibious Readiness Group are preparing for possible humanitarian assistance operations to aid cyclone-stricken Burma. The Essex Amphibious Ready Group, along with 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit, is steaming to support potential humanitarian-assistance operations in the wake of Cyclone Nargis, which struck Burma May 1 and 2. Some estimates have put the death toll at more than 100,000. So far, the Burmese military government has allowed only one U.S. shipment of relief supplies. \”This is what we are here for,\” Navy Chief Petty Officer Andres Carillo, of the USS Essex, said. \”It\’s our mission to help those in need.\” The amphibious readiness group includes the forward-deployed amphibious ships USS Essex, USS Juneau, USS Harpers Ferry and USS Mustin. The servicemembers are working to fill more than 14,000 5-gallon plastic water bladders with fresh water. In the event of humanitarian operations, the water could be loaded onto landing craft and helicopters to be distributed to those affected by the cyclone. \”We are capitalizing on the excess water the ship has to support the victims who need it,\” said Marine Capt. Ray Howard, embark officer for 31st Marine Expeditionary Unit. \”We want to be able have the water distributed by the quickest means possible and be on call for help so that when within reach we can send the water via helicopter and boat to the disaster areas.\” The process of filling up the bladders requires a great deal of manpower and hard work, Carillo said. Marines and sailors set up shop before filling the water bladders. The Essex\’s Repair Division manufactured a fresh water distribution system that mirrored a miniature farming irrigation system. Afterward, both Marines and sailors prepared large boxes to store the water bladders for transport. During the filling process, they check the pipes of the water distribution system to ensure no leakage occurs. After each bag is filled, Marines and sailors pack the clear plastic water bladders into the boxes. \”It\’s great to see the Marines and sailors working together to accomplish the mission,\” Howard said. \”It\’s a great show of joint-service camaraderie.\”

Related Articles: Burma Allows One U.S. C-130 to Deliver Relief Supplies Gates: U.S. Military Ready to Help; Ships, Air Support Staged

Hey Bill,

A few years ago you printed an article in the GCN that listed nicknames for Gloucester Boys over the years. Gloucester City by far is the only place I have been to where so many people\’s nicknames are used instead of their given ones. Ill try to list as many as I can in this forum because I have seen so many posts with different names and it reminded me of that article.

Could you perhaps fill in the blanks on your page somewhere?

Here are some names that come to mind: Bill \”Ozark\” Underwood, Tom \”Choo Choo\” Murphy, \”Jungle\” Murphy, Owen \”Dinkie\” Brennan, Geo \”Pinkie\” Cleary, Bill \”The Buck\” Graves, Gary \”WooWoo\” Gross, Bob \”Dece\” Dicierno, Dan \”Obie\” Obrien, Paul \”Nipper\” Nazar, Tom \”Tut\” Kilcourse.

Joe \”Lizzard\” DiFelice, Joe \”The Jet\” Stiles, Woodrow \”Woody\” Dooley, Bill \”The Jolly Green Giant\” Gross, Bill \”Wimbie\” Yeager, \”Corkie\” McNutt, Bill \”The Worm\” Seddon, Charles \”Ziggy\” Zearfoss, Bill \”The Pen\” Cleary.

Tom \”Dink\” Danaher, Joe \”Dewey\” Dewechter, Al \”Bozo\” Sharp, Jack \”Oats\” McDade, Bill \”Hawker\” James, Goober Wachter, Ed \”Whootie\” DiGiacomo, VJ \”BamBam\” DiGiacomo, John \”Soles\” Hillman, Shad Agar…..

ANYONE PLEASE ADD TO THE LIST…………..include last name

source unknown…….
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

\’Miss Whack, I\’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.\’

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it\’s okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, \’Sure. I have this,\’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she\’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, \’There\’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.\’

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. \’I mean, what in the world is this?\’

(you\’re gonna love this)

The bank manager looks back at her and says…

\’It\’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, His old man\’s a Rolling Stone.\’

(You\’re singing it, aren\’t you? Yeah, I know you are……..)

Never take life too seriously!

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