When East Meets West/ Here\’s a tip!

Commentary By Hank F. Miller Jr. (Hank is a former resident of Gloucester City who lives in Japan)

 Here\’s a Tip! You don\’t deserve one, pal.

 The only woman who has ever chased me was a willowy Japanese waitress who trailed me half a block from her restaurant door.\”Sir, \”she panted, \”I\’m sorry…but you forgot your change!\”Oh…So I waltzed off 100 yen richer.

About 93 cents. Mean while the waitress got-besides 40 meters of exercise-was my sincere gratitude.

Speed up the clock and tilt the world, and lo and behold this past week we were on our way in transit at the air port in San Francisco, California, I found myself chased again … this time by a waiter. \”Sir!\” he wheezed. He held my bill in his hand.\”I\’m sorry…but your tip was insufficient!\”

Now-the truth be known-sometimes I do stretch facts. And when that gets dull, at other times I make things up. But this time I cross my foreigner\’s heart and swore on a stack of alien registration cards: The man followed me because I had tipped less than 15 percent.

 I had left that smaller amount on purpose.Oh, the service had been OK and so had the food. Yet my meal arrived 15 minutes late, during which time I mostly sat and watched my wife suck crab legs.

Yet…that was not my reason either. In all the endless vacation tipping of cab drivers, baggage handlers and so on, I had graded not a single effort as out of the ordinary, and none of it as meriting extra money. I was fed up, and this waiter was the unlucky fellow to learn this.

My wife fidgeted. As Japanese, she craves one basic thing\”harmony.She eyed me to pay the man, especially with passersby nudging their children and saying, \”Hey, kids, look at the cheapskate!\”But I declined, and the waiter mumbled his way back to the restaurant. I walked off a few bucks richer, yet not without pangs of guilt.

People say the gap between Japan and the United States grows closer everyday. Japanese gobble cheeseburgers. Americans sleep on futons=quilts for sleeping on the floor.

Japanese girls mimic the hair style of Britney Spears. American boys imitate the batting style of Ichiro Suzuki. Who knows…one day both nations might be nothing but one giant Starbucks-lined shopping mall of video arcades, clothing stores and a dollar/100 yen shops.

 With the single difference being that on one side of the ocean, consumers will tip and on the other side of the ocean, they won\’t.Hopefully, that will never change. Or if it does, it will change for the better…meaning America will go cold turkey on the gratuity kick.\”You\’re just a tightwad, \”says my wife.\”A tightwad from Bumpkin city, where people only know two kinds of service: Self and buffet.\”

And for that helpful comment, I decided to give her 15 percent of my mind. At times, the American service industry might more accurately be called the \’serve less\’ industry.  

Warm Regards From Kitakyushu City, Japan