Commentary by Hank F. Miller Jr.
(Hank is a former resident of Gloucester City who now lives in Japan)
Family Life Full Of Give And Take!
After 27 years of wedlock, my Japanese wife and I usually see things eyeball-to-eyeball, especially when it comes to staring at each other. Yet there is one case where we match up like sushi and whipped cream.
Nope, this conflict has nothing to do with daily life, diet, raising the kids or even hopping about in each other\’s underwear–which we both agree we would never ever do.
The difference comes not in how we have adjusted to life in her country; it\’s in how we look at life in mine. Specifically how we approach our periodic visits to my hometown Gloucester City.
For my wife these are moments of keen anxiety. The problem is not one of people, as she is very fond of my family and they are equally fond of her. Instead, what gives my wife the jeebies is deciding what to buy for everybody! What gifts to bring them from the land of the rising yen!
Meanwhile, I view our trips the way sumo wrestlers view all–you–can eat buffets.
My consideration being not what to give, but what to get! And how then to carry all that loot home. For my wife, gift–giving went easier back when we were newlyweds.
In those days any present from Japan was considered rare and enchanting.
My family was thrilled to receive Japanese dolls, fans and screens, as well as all sorts of clothes, toys and ceramics.
As the years passed….Now my sisters and brother has enough Japanese dolls to launch an invasion. My sister Rosemarie has so much stuff that she has probably ran out of room for everything in her china cabinet and curio cabinet. She has drawers full of stuff we\’ve sent over the years.
Now my wife rips her hair.\”What do I buy them this time?!!\” I always offer a one word answer, the consummate souvenir: T-shirts.the, bodies in my family tend to spread larger than Japanese bodies.T-shirts, even the widest ones, usually survive but a single wash I suppose I really don\’t know. People wear them once and that\’s it. My next suggestion is Japanese food stuff: Rice crackers, plum-flavored gum, dried squid and so on.
I know my family will only pick at these goodies before dashing off to spit them into the toilet. Leaving the rest for me. It is a no–lose situation.
But doesn\’t that satisfy my wife. No she hunts persistently for the perfect presents and, soon finding something even remotely popular, she sticks with it.
In most of the omiyage=Present madness, I let my wife fret and fuss on her own. Upon arrival, I turn my attention toward my own concern, which is buying everything I can. My first stop is to the local supermarket (heaven on earth)where I load an entire cart with American goodies so junky it is bad even to look at then, Let alone put them in your body after all these years watching what I eat and all that exercise.\”You\’re not going to eat all that junk food are you?\” My wife shrieks. \”Wanna bet?\” I grin. Who counts calories in heaven?
Then clothing! Shoes that fit! Suits priced less than real estate! Belts that go all the way around! Books! CD\’s! Software! Video\’s of films that will not be released in Japan for months! All at prices I can afford too. I can afford so much; in fact, I always have to purchase an additional suitcase to lug all that stuff back to Japan.
My wife eventually turns to shopping too, though most U.S. sizes tend to fit her perfectly. Then as the day nears for our return, a new worry crops up and overwhelms her. \”What do I get for the people back in Japan!?\”I take a minute to thing, and then here we go again! This, to, used to be simple. We would buy chocolaty American sweets that (unless I discovered where she hid them) my wife would pass out to everyone for months and months. Now such yummies are sold in Japanese convenience such as 7/11. The novelty has vanished. My wife\’s search goes on. Her efforts have included:
Bric-a-brac: Cute oddities not sold on this side of the Pacific. Unfortunately, too many are stamped, MADE IN JAPAN.\”
Sheets and towels; Economical and high quality. Yet, hard to give…\”Here\’s a gift from America, DR.Kohshi! It\’s a sheet!\” Posters: Unfortunately, these don\’t pack well, and who wants Mariah Carey with a crease through her head?\”Though she already has one there anyway!
Native American art: Beautiful did you know sand paintings can leak? Leaving…. what else? You guessed it T- shirts!
Sure, the same shirts are sold in Japan, but there is one essential difference: The ones we buy are cheaper. And a yen saved is a yen earned especially after a buying binge in the States. We need to save money for our next trip to heaven.
Warm Regards From Japan, Hank & Keiko The Miller Family
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